To my Future Partner

I'm sorry. I'm saying this in advance, because it's something that you should probably be aware of - in the unlikely event that you are reading this - rather than anything I'm to blame for. Cos I really can't help it.

I'm sorry for when you suddenly awake in the night, bleary eyed and wondering what the hell is going on. Because, let's face it, I sleepwalk. Or talk. Well, shouting, so I'm told.

 That's not me. As if I'd use two pillows.

It started when I was much younger, and has somehow still continued. Talking in my sleep is hard to measure - I sleep alone, and in another room, so it's rare that it's loud enough for anybody to hear. And strangely, I can't hear myself when I'm asleep. But walking's different.

At the moment, certainly over the last few weeks, I've half-dreamt trying to find my way around a strange room in the dark, with an unfamiliar layout, perhaps trying to look for an exit or a light-switch. And then when I wake up, I realise that it was my bedroom - of course it is! And yet it felt very odd when I was asleep. And I'm standing up.
I don't know doing it once it's put the thought into my head now - but it's getting slightly annoying after the fifth time. And I don't always wake up in the same part of the room, either!

When I was living back home with my parents, the most common happenings used to be going to the toilet! Or rather, opening the bedroom door, walking down the stairs (or in some cases, almost falling) and then stopped by my dad, ever present and awake, to tell me to go back to bed. One time, apparently I was running quite violently towards the front door. And on more than one occasion, even a few years ago, I've been screaming my head off whilst hardly knowing a thing.

And then there's been more trivial cases - aside from the odd feeling of waking up perfectly asleep but at the other end of the bed. In my last house, I remember being engrossed in some action fantasy (okay, I'd been to see a film that evening) and suddenly awoke, to find myself in the hallway, having unlocked my bedroom door, and with my awoken flatmate looking as bemused as I was.
In a later incident, I found myself knocking frantically on his bedroom door, before, as he answered, suddenly finding myself awak. Yeah, thanks subconscious! Apparently I blathered on about some maths problem. (Still, could have been worse - I dimly recall that by some twisted logic, I was going to wake the whole house up!) This is probably how very drunk people act. I think he found it funny. I hope he wasn't scarred for life, anyway.

The thing that's even more scary than what I might be doing when you're asleep... is that I have little way of knowing. It's become such an occurance, that I have to prompt my parents about it the morning after. "Did I wake up in the night?" I ask, half recalling what seemed like more-than-a-dream from the night before. It doesn't affect anything, but I'd like to know.